If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
