he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
