she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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