You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize