I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
