so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize