Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
