let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
