Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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