Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
