we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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