you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
