honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I believe in your delicious
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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