if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
