i permit you to call me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
