after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
