I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
