dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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