I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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