What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
