I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
