I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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