Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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