Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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