I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize