i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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