i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
