grandma shit on top of the toilet
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
