so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
