plz talk dirty to me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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