What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
