the condom got lost in my hair
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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