Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
