i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize