you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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