So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We need to get me chipped asap
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