Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
