Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize