Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize