Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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