Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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