In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
time to smoke my breakfast
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
