based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
