why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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