I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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