Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
