Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Randomize