i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
