I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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