yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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