Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
