How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
