i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
