I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
