there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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