lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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