Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
