Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
