my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
