put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
