I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
