in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
