So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
