She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
