a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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