I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
