So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
